Time to Add to the Adages…

Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

I like adages.

A condensed but memorable saying embodying some important fact or experience that is taken as true by many people.

It has French roots and comes from the Latin word “adagium” related to aio (or “I say”).

You might also think of them as “sayings, maxims, axioms, proverbs, aphorisms, saws or dictums”.

I was reading through a list of adages recently and it dawned on me that maybe some of them might need some amplification.

Is it also possible that some adages are a bit outdated?

I have some thoughts.

“The early bird gets the worm.”

(Unless he forgot to change his clocks when Daylight Savings Time ended.)

“All’s well that ends well.”

(Until the drill bit breaks halfway to the aquafer.)

“From flowers, bees make honey and spiders poison.”

(And florists make bouquets of money.)

“Better safe than sorry.”

(But don’t forget to ask the ump for “Time!” when you leave the base.)

“Physician, heal thyself.”

(Can you make sense of this health care system?)

“Better late than never.”

(Somebody let the bill collectors know.)

“Don’t judge a book by its’ cover.”

(The library might have made a mistake when sorting.)

“The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

(Oops! The mechanic didn’t finish the lube job before going to lunch.)

“Call a spade a spade.”

(Not if you’re playing euchre with my wife!)

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

(Try prunes.)

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

(Not if you don’t have a good Medicare supplement plan.)

“Little strokes fell great oaks.”

(Remember that the next time your tee shot goes into the woods.)

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

(Especially if astigmatism runs in your family.)

“Haste makes waste.”

(Except when fighting a grass fire in high winds.)

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

(Throwing apples is what doomed house calls!)

“A rising tide lifts all boats.”

(Not if your dock lines are too short and tight.)

“Many hands make lightwork.”

(Said “Team Masseuse”.)

“Clothes make the man.”

(Unless you’re a tailor.)

“Slow and steady wins the race.”

(Doesn’t work at the dragstrip.)

“Fish and visitors stink after 3 days.”

(Especially if the A-C goes out and there’s no hot water.)

“Who will guard the guards?”

(See if the small forwards can help out on defense.)

“Carpe diem.”

(But what if I really like wood floors?)

“Seize the moment!”

(Can I get something other than Caesar salad?)

“It is the nail that sticks out that gets hammered down.”

(But not before in snags your sock.)

“A stitch in time save nine.”

(NOW you tell me when the sleeve of my shirt just fell off.)

“Early to be, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

(Unless he’s crawling out of the sack to rob his neighbor with the NRA sign on the door.)

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

(Quit trying to push me out the door!)

“Leave no stone unturned.”

(Until you find that one which has the spare house key hidden in it.)

“Put the cart before the horse.”

(Especially if you are tired of “road apples” in your lap.)

“A penny saved is a penny earned.”

(Why is my 401K laughing?)

Old school comic W.C. Fields said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damned fool about it.”

Forrest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get!”

(Unless you’re my sisters who use to lick and nibble a bit first and put back in the tray the one’s they didn’t like.)