Watch What You Don’t Say…
Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster
I’ve spent most of my working years in a radio station behind a microphone and not really concerned about “body language”.
I’ve told people I could have probably gone to work all these years in my PJ’s and it wouldn’t have mattered.
But I learned in the military to dress for success because it creates a mental attitude that helps you perform at your best level.
I’ve also done a fair share of public speaking, hosting and emceeing events and at those event, how you look is critical to how you are perceived.
I learned a “trick” years ago to use “self-deprecating humor” to disarm your audience and put them at ease.
Early on in most of these occasions, I’ll take a shot at myself to get the crowd on my side.
With all the goofball things I’ve done in my life, it ain’t hard to poke fun at myself.
But public speaking is quite different from being on the air because “body language” comes in to play.
I also have a face made for radio.
In communication, only 7% is verbal, 38% is determined by your tone of voice and 55% is tied correctly to body language.
Ninety-three percent of what people understand when you talk is due to body language, facial expression, style and tone.
There are 7 primary elements of body language; body movement, posture, facial expressions, space/distance, touch, voice, gestures and eye contact.
When we speak, we’re mostly unaware of the messages we’re sending.
It might be part of the reason I don’t like “Zoom” meetings because you can’t get a good read on body language.
Many negotiators who can’t fully see each other’s gestures and facial expressions find it difficult to “read” each other’s tone and build rapport.
Let’s talk about eye-contact.
Most of us make eye contact between 30% and 60% of the time while talking but the experts say something closer to 70% is best for creating an “emotional connection”.
Eye contact for 4-5 seconds before looking away and looking back in 4-5 seconds is the target.
BUT
Don’t stare!
It can be creepy or intimidating.
It’s also easier to maintain eye contact while listening than when speaking.
Our faces are made to communicate.
(Remember, I have a face made for radio!)
We have 43 muscles that came make up to 10,000 expressions.
Now, maintaining reasonable eye contact means different things in different parts of the world.
In North America, it signifies confidence and is seen as a sign of respect.
In other parts of the world, it’s considered rude or aggressive.
There are also “micro-expressions” that can last as little as a half-second.
BUT
They can be up to 7 times more accurate than basic expressions in identifying a person’s real emotions.
Watch when a public speaker (politician) gets asked a question he or she wasn’t expecting.
That brief “physical” answer can be pretty heavy.
That’s what I find most enlightening while observing press conferences and such.
Now, there are 4 main types of body language; facial expressions, gestures, posture and eye-contact.
Be careful with the hand-gestures.
That “OK” sign with your index finger on your thumb and the 3 other digits at attention transmits a good message among English speakers but in Germany, Russia and Brazil, it can be offensive.
There was a scene in the movie “Inglorious Bastards” where one of the stars signified he wants 3 beers with his thumb over his little finger and the remaining fingers standing straight.
The enemy knew they were “spies” because they would signify “three” much like we do for “OK”.
Speaking of fingers, be careful when pointing.
It can be quite rude in some cultures.
Need I mention the dreaded “middle finger”?
Body language is unconscious.
Most of the time, we unaware of the signals we’re giving off.
(See “fidgeting or biting our nails”.)
Crossing your arms can make you appear closed off and unapproachable. It’s a barrier between you and the other person.
Slouching can make you appear disinterested and lacking in confidence.
It also makes you feel less-confident and relaxed.
There are 7 universal facial expressions that we communicate; fear, disgust, happiness, sadness, anger, contempt and surprise.
This subject matter made me remember The Undisputed Truth and their 1971 hit single,
“Smiling Faces Sometimes”.
“Smiling faces show no traces
of the evil that lurks within (Can you dig it?)
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
they don’t tell the truth.”
All of this is pretty handy to know since we’re in the political season leading up to the General Election.
Listen for what they say as well as how they say it.
I’m reminded of the Kennedy/Nixon debates in 1960.
Radio listeners thought Nixon won the first debate but it was Kennedy hands down on the tube.
Better body language.