Just by a Whisker …
Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …
October 18th is “No Beard Day”.
I considered this topic just moments after shaving today.
I think I started shaving when I was 15 or 16 and only a couple of times a week.
Most young men start shaving somewhere between 14 to 16 years.
I used to “practice ” shaving as a lad by using part of a soap dish to scrape suds off my face.
My Dad used double-edged Gillette blades and we had this slit in the bathroom cabinet that allowed used blades to fall into the space between the studs and wallboard.
I never liked those double-edged razor blades.
I always had to pepper my face with pieces of toilet paper or dabs of a styptic pencil to stem the flow of blood.
It’s one of the reasons I grew a “goatee” of sorts years ago.
It meant I didn’t have to scar my upper lip and chin like I did for all those previous years.
It’s also where we the average man has the most whiskers.
You can find 5,000 to 25,000 whiskers on a typical man’s face.
I’d guess my whisker count falls somewhere between those two figures.
Over the years, I’ve tried every new piece of shaving apparatus to hit the market.
I’ve finally settled on a 4-blade model with one of those white safety strips that keeps me from adding to the facial scar tissue I’ve amassed through the years.
Ninety percent of men shave daily and we do it 20,000 times in our lives, spending 60 hours per year, dragging sharp metal across our faces.
I probably only shave 4-5 times a week since my facial hair is grey and not as visible as it once was.
It takes 100-600 strokes for a clean shave or about 3.5 minutes.
Since I can by-pass my upper lip and chin, my shaves are much quicker.
My Dad shaved with Noxema shave cream in a jar and he even had one of those shaving brushes to spread the cream.
About 85% of us shave at the sink while the remainder shave in the shower.
About 30% of men use an electric razor and I went through various models over the years but gave it up because it never cut as close as a blade.
Only 1% of we guys actually enjoy our daily shave but I still like the feel when I’m done and still like the “tingle” that after shave provides.
Old Spice after shave is is the best seller and I use it from time to time but mostly I used that green Skin Bracer stuff.
Seventy percent of women prefer a clean-shaven man.
Today’s popular shave gels didn’t come on the scene until the 1970’s and shave cream didn’t go aerosol till 1950.
Shave cream wasn’t marketed to women until 1986 and, truth be known, I use my wife’s shave cream when I shave my chops.
Now, most shaving accidents are due to dull or dirty razor blades.
Cavemen reportedly shaved with clams and shark’s teeth.
Ancient Egyptians used razors and pumice stones. for that “clean look” since beards were considered a sign of personal regret.
I’m assuming cavemen and Egyptians used a little water since it makes a single piece of hair or whisker about 1/3 to 1/2 as strong as a dry strand.
Simply put, water makes it much easier to shave.
Beards grow about 1/2 inch a month or 6 inches in a year which makes me wonder how long ago ZZ Top stopped shaving.
It’s neat to know that when a guy shaves, he removes about the same amount of whiskers and dead skin since most of the outer layers of our face are dead skin cells.
Even math comes into play when shaving.
The ideal shaving angle is 28-32 degrees, even for those neck whisker which grow parallel to the skin.
Years ago, Russian Czar Peter the Great taxed men with beards.
I wonder if a politician were to try that today, would he lose by a razor-thin margin?
A close shave, perhaps?
I knew guys who had issues with “razor burn”.
“”P
Pseudofoliculitisbarbae” is the scientific term for shaving inflammation and bumps.
When I was young teen, I thought shaving was “cool”.
But now that I have more hair and whiskers in places than I used to have places, I find the task mundane at best.
But I still like the feel and aroma of my wife’s shave cream.
I figure if she’s okay shaving her places and parts with it, I should feel fine with the results on my face.
]