Just a Litter Bit Helps…

Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

I’m not a militant recycler but I do my part by seeing that our cans, plastics and paper things get recycled.

We have this 3-tub contraption, on wheels in the garage that we can toss things in.

Then I remove the tubs, when they’re full and haul them to the recycle center, west of town.

It’s a Saturday morning routine for the most part and there’s a social aspect to the process because I often see other recycles there tossing re-usable goods.

You never realize how many citizens can’t read until you recycle.

There are big letters printed on the various dumpsters tell what can go into the trash bins, along with signs.

One of the biggest annoyances to me are the bins that say “No plastic trash bags” because lots of folks use them to put plastics and cans in.

I’m happy they recycle but don’t toss those black garbage bags into the bins.

It’s challenging enough when some communities only recycle certain types of plastic

.You gotta look for that little triangle on your plastic things.

Sometimes that can be a real “eye-squinter”.

Everybody seems to be willing to take #1 and #2 plastics but in others, you can’t recycle anything higher than #2.

My wife and I are pretty good about checking and we’ve found there’s a lot of #5 plastic around today and some places don’t want it for recycling purposes.

I save my plastic peanut butter jars and lids for nuts and bolts but there is a point you reach where you only need so many.

Those oleo and margarine tubs come in pretty handy for storing my dry plant food and leftover grass seed but be consume a lot more spread that I need storage containers.

My wife and I get about 2 or 3 catalogs every day in the mail, several which claim this is the last issue we’ll ever receive if we don’t place an order.

They keep coming, so thankfully, there’s a bin you can toss them into.

The coronavirus has caused another littering phenomena to occur.

“Disposable face masks”.

After cigarette butts and chewing gum, face masks might be pressing the leaders for the #1 thing people wantonly discard on sidewalks and parking lots.

Allow me to digress for a moment.

One of my least-favorite USAF basic training tasks was policing the parade grounds and practice pads.

One day, in a moment of fatigue-induced lunacy, I asked my TI (Training Instructor) why I, a non-smoker, was expected to pick up up the remains of a cigarette.

My TI, with his brown, “Smokey the Bear” brimmed hat on, would hit me about mid chest so I really didn’t see his face when he gave me that perfect military response.

“Because I said so!”

To which, I replied, “Sir! Yes Sir!!”

Now, back to the topic at hand.

What to do with all these disposable face masks.

I’m sure you’ve see the cute postings of mice using them as hammocks in their homes inside our walls.

I doubt mice have the ability to really figure that out on their own.’

What do you think about “bun bonnets” for dudes with that hair style?

What about parachutes for G-I Joes?

Could they be used as garden-to-kitchen haulers for cherry tomatoes?

Perhaps “knee pads” of sorts to keep us from messing up a clean pair of Levi’s when we kneel in the yard or garden?

Wind-sails for the Smurfs?

Cabbage Patch kid bonnets or possible slings for make-believe broken arms?

Trawls for the family aquarium?

Can you see slings for Sunday school re-inactments of the “David and Goliath” Bible story?

How about “pocket change holders” so we don’t have to use those teeny-tiny, hard-to-get nickels and dimes out of pockets on our Levi’s?

Just grab hold of those strings and Voila! instant change.

Chicken bonnets?

Really inexpensive thongs?

Perhaps there’s a sufficient profit margin to allow someone to gather discarded face masks, wash them and re-sell ’em.

I’ve run a few through the Foster laundry a time or two after leaving one in my pants pocket.

Maybe that would provide a way to repurpose those plastic hangers you sometimes get when you buy new socks.

I’ll have to get a ruling from the CDC and Dr. Fauci on all this before we proceed.

My!

How things have changed.

Years ago, only criminals would enter a bank wearing a mask.

Just an observation, tellers.

Crooks aren’t picky about proper social distancing.