Need a Really Good 5 Cent Cigar?

Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

“What this country needs is a really good 5 cent cigar.”

Credit that quote to Woodrow Wilson’s Vice-President Thomas Marshall.

Marshall was our nation’s 28th “veep” and the 27th Governor of the state of Indiana.

He’s also the only second-in-command of our nation to have been exclusively targeted for assassination.

The cigar quote credited to him supposedly came during a Senate debate on the nation’s needs.

Marshall is said to have leaned over and muttered to a colleague, “What this country needs is a really good 5 cent cigar.”

By today’s standards, that cigar might set you back $10-$50.

The statement is actually a figure of speech for “getting down to earth”, buckling down to thrift and work.

“Work” would prompt America’s first TV “beatnik”, Maynard G. Krebs to sort of yelp “Work?!” when someone suggested that he get a job.

Maynard was America’s first television “beatnik” introducing us to the thought-pausing word “like” and the phrase “You rang?”

He was Dobie Gillis’ (Dwayne Hickman) best friend on the series, “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis” which aired on TV from 1959-1963.

A beatnik participated in a social movement in the 50’s through early ’60’s that stressed artistic self-expression and rejection of the mores of conventional society.

They played bongos, too.

In the 60’s, Maynard would have been a “hippie” or a “flower child” and today he might be a “bohemian” or a “naturalist”.

“Getting down to earth” doesn’t seem to be a thought that is popular today, any more than “buckling down to thrift and work.”

Now, in 1981, Kool and The Gang sang “Get Down On It” but it wasn’t quite the same as ‘getting down to earth.”

So maybe we need something other than a really good 5 cent cigar to cure what ails us.

But Mark Twain is quoted as saying, “If heaven has no cigars, I shall not go there.”

In light of today’s political landscape, remember that Ulysses S. Grant stated, “Cheap cigars come in handy; they stifle the odor of cheap politicians.”

The real problem today is the fact the politicians aren’t cheap.

They’re the best that money can buy.

And yet, when you ask the typical American, it’s always “the other guy’s politician” that needs to go.

Terms limits?

The average length of service as a U.S. Representative is 8.5 years or about 4.3 house terms.

In the U.S. Senate, it’s 11.2 years, just short of two full Senate terms.

Hmm.

Fifty-seven percent of Americans know the party affiliation of their U.S. Representative but only 37% can name them.

Forget the really good 5cent cigar.

We need remedial “Civics Classes” for America.

Term limits are for individuals who don’t want to be part of the process to see that good people get elected.

Don’t limit terms.

Limit campaign financing.

Then, when your candidate wins, light up a “victory cigar”.

A really good 5 cent cigar.