Of Rubber Bands and Brown Water…

Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

Our daily newspaper recently announced it was dropping the daily printed edition and going to a twice-a-week issue with it’s daily effort going on-line.

The announcement has caused some consternation, especially among older readers since many are not “connected” to the non-printed world.

I’m concerned because my morning routine for the past 29 years is going to be disrupted.

Every morning at work, the newspaper would be tossed on the front door step and I would come looking for it about 7:15am.

The aim of the delivery folks was pretty good over the years but occasionally I’d find a paper in the bushes on either side of the double doors.

The paper was always rolled into a tight baton and secured by a triple-looped rubber band.

On mornings with precipitation, that paper would first be placed in a plastic bag with the rubber band wrapped around the outside.

My routine all these years wass to fetch the paper and and unroll that rubber band.

But rather than toss it in the waste basket indoors, I’d flip that rubber band into the mulch on the westside of the building.

Counting for vacations and such, I’ve tossed more than 7,000 of these skinny, little rubber bands there.

If you were to count out 7,000 rubber bands, I suspect it would make a sizeable pile.

But since I was discarding these one at a time over 29 years, you’d be hard-pressed to find a rubber band in that mulch.

I’m guessing they’ve all just eventually decomposed and became one with the flower beds.

What I’m most concerned about is not getting the daily Word Jumble to solve.

Electronic newspapers are just like electronic books to me.

I know I can still read them on my phone or computer but I just like the “feel” of a newspaper or a book in my hand.

Even the aroma.

It’s an “old guy” thing.

Many times when I fetched the paper, I would leave by 2nd morning cup of coffee on the half-wall at the top of the stairs.

I’m a coffee drinker who likes a little bit of cream in my cup.

Powdered or liquid, it doesn’t matter.

My wife likes enough to turn her “brown water” caramel or beige in color.

I started coffee while in high school but at the time I was a sugar and cream kid.

Then, I went “hot and black” for a period before I settled on cream.

Not sure if I really like coffee.

To me, it smells better than it tastes.

Outside of frying bacon, the aroma of campfire coffee is one of the world’s treats that keeps me drawn to some version of outdoor living.

Weekends I add a slice of peanut butter toast with the first cup of coffee.

Wheat toast preferably.

Sitting in the backyard screened-in porch with those two treats in hand is a great way to watch and listen to the world wake up.

I do not like the myriad “froo foo” coffees that are available.

Give me my basic cup old style and I’m happy.

I’ve tried hot tea in the morning but it doesn’t seem as “substantial” in my cup.

Something solid and warm.

My Dad used to say he liked “cowboy coffee”.

I guess because it tasted like “Old Paint.

If you’re not a fan of old Westerns, you might miss the connection.

The scorched stench of a less-than-freshly-brewed pot of coffee is something I can do without.

My daughter refers to her unsweet iced tea as “brown water” but coffee, prior to “creaming” is darker.

Might even call it “black water”, the Doobie Brothers hit in 1974 from the “What Once Were Vices are Now Habits”.

Sort of sounds like a theme for coffee drinking.

So, if I’ll no longer be tossing newspaper rubber bands into the flower bed mulch, I’ll keep sipping that hot coffee every morning.

I’m still gonna miss that “Word Jumble” though.