Of Networks, Nutworks and Notworks…
Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …
When I was a youngster, things were a lot easier.
We only had 3 major television networks.
ABC.
CBS.
NBC.
ABC had the sports.
CBS had Walter Cronkite.
NBC had the “Today Show” with J. Fred Muggs, Frankl Blair, Jack Lescoulie and Dave Garraway.
Fewer choices but better product in this man’s opinion.
We had some low-power local television stations that gave local “stars” a chance a chance to shine on the “boob tube”.
Remember when we used to call it that?
We had Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Green Jeans, Grandfather Clock and Mr. Bunny Rabbit to amuse our younger selves.
We also had afterschool shows like “Barnaby” and his amazingly bad “Long John, the Invisible Parrot”, “Woodrow the Woodsman” and a seemingly endless supply of old Three Stooges” shorts.
Barnaby would always remind us that we’d never actually hit our sister with a hammer like the Stooges always did.
I would conveniently feign memory lapses in his moments.
Captain Penney toted his big oil can and kept us on track as we feasted on more cheap comedy.
Then, as our teenaged hormones began to rage, we had “Ghoulardi” to introduce us to the word “fink” and poke fun at ancient local newscaster Dorothy Fuldheim and actually blew up fire crackers and cherry bombs on the tv set./
More low-power local tv came on and then we had cable.
“57 Channels and Nothing On” was Bruce Springsteen’s hit that bemoaned more variety but fewer real choices.
Remember when MTV actually used to play music videos?
The Weather Channel forecast meteorological events instead of politics.
There are times that I think “Less is more” might be a way to re-direct this country.
Quality over quantity.
What do you think?
I encountered a new “network” recently while fighting bronchitis.
In my usual manner, rather than addressing the malady immediately, I went to “Doctor Procrastination”.
Really didn’t realize how medicine and health care have gotten into the “network” game.
No knock on our medicine.
I’ve always dealt with fine doctors and healthcare providers.
Where it’s gotten “sketchy” is “paying the bills”.
So I went to a clinic and they confirmed that I did indeed have bronchitis.
They wrote 3 prescriptions that were texted to my pharmacy but when I went for the anticipated pick-up, I got one of those, “Uh, Mr. Foster, you need to call this number regarding some questions they have regarding this”.
After 2 phone calls, I talked to someone who said, “Uh, Mr. Foster. Where did you get this number because I really can’t handle this matter.”
I wanted to say, “Off the wall in the men’s room”.
I courteously replied, “It was the number the receptionist provided me when I went tp pick up my drugs.”
“Well, I think I can transfer you to the proper person so hang on.
I heard the phone ring and a pre-recorded voice told me there were other callers ahead of me and we would be answered in the order we called.
Please hold.
Lots of boring electronic music and occasional voice reminders to hold.
After 15 minutes, I was told I could key in my phone number and they would call me
when an operator was available.
To me, that’s often like tossing away the life line to the tugboat.
But after another 10 minutes and dwindling phone battery power I finally took the plunge.
Within 5 minutes, I heard a human ask how she could help.
I explained I wanted to get the issue rectified so I could get these 3 prescriptions.
After a brief hold, the mystery voice returned.
“The clinic who wrote these prescriptions is not in our network and we can’t cover this.”
Exasperated, I broke the connection (although I felt like throwing my phone) and told the pharmacy to fill the part of the prescription they had authorized.
If it was a baseball game, I batted .250 which is hardly hall of fame level.
I went home, only to receive an e-mail the next morning saying that my prescriptions had been filled and were being mailed.
Who’s on first?
This network stuff is frustrating but even more more so when you’re dealing with the one I dealt with…Cartoon.
Have a nice day.